Because of all that is going on, the opportunity to sit down and put together a post is becoming more difficult.
Also I am feeling like I am in a slump... maybe due to the ongoing list that is time consuming, and energy consuming. I think that big birthday I had last year has made me feel old...and tired!
Lets see.... a 40 hour work week, plus my lunch period. With an added commuting time of 1 hour and 45 minutes a day to do said job.
Because I have to be at work at 6:30 am, I do not get enough sleep which adds to the stress because I am so tired most of the time.
My mom is on the way home from work, and if I don't have time to stop I feel guilty. I stop as often as I can. I am already feeling guilty that my poor sister is handling most of the overseeing of Mom, since she is currently on a work furlough from the airlines.
OK, then we have 7 animals at home. One is my horse Betsy, who has an abscess that is requiring soaking daily with Epsom Salts. This takes time and effort.
I also feel guilty if I take to long to get home, as that is a long time for the dogs to not have their people.
At this time we are preparing for a trip to California for 6 days. I hate getting ready for trips! I never know what I should bring, and always bring the wrong stuff, and too much.
In most peoples eyes, maybe it would not seem like my "list" should cause a slump. But we all have our own level...where we know we have hit the stress bar. Mine may be lower than others.
We will be heading to California the middle of next week, for 6 days. It will be hectic, as we have functions 3-4 days of that time. All in different locations; Orange, Yucaipa and Palm Desert..so it will be go go go!
On this trip we will stop in Orange to catch up with some of his old office friends, as that Friday they are closing the corporate office in Orange.
My husband lived in Orange for a couple years, while I stayed home here in Washington. This was over 5 years ago, but oh do I still remember that period of my life.
I did not know that I was depressed during that time, I just slid into it and did my routine. It was only later that it was clear to me that I had been depressed during this period.
Depression just comes in like the gray Seattle weather and it is just there, day after day. You just think this is normal. I am so glad that period of my life is over, it was awful.
Ken had been transferred to corporate headquarters in Orange, for a major hearth product company whom he had worked for in Washington. We did not plan on it being that long.
I was home with the horses and chores, which meant all of the care included for them. Daily feeding before and after work, cleaning stalls, watering, all care with no help... on top of my job and commuting.
One of those winter's we had a terrible ice storm in January. I was without power here and cold, very cold. I had to hand carry water to the horses and could not get off the property due to fallen trees on our road. I also could not get the generator to start.
Can you imagine how I felt, while I was freezing, and so burned out... and when I called him he tells me that ...he was in his shorts golfing....(ahhhhhh!!!) That was not what I had wanted to hear.
Also on this trip, we are going to Amy's wedding Sunday on Valentines day in Yucaipa. She is Ken's daughter, and we are all excited that she and Jeremy are combining their family's for a new chapter in her and Miracle's ( our granddaugher) life!
Also we will be out at my husbands sisters place in the desert some of the time as well...hmmm.. golfing?
While we are gone this week, I feel terrible that the animal care will fall on my daughter, who already has a full load on her plate.
Because the old pony has a special diet, she will need to make multiple trips to soak beets, come back and feed beets, and the regular feedings as well. Oh yes, then we have the dogs. They go out and are fed in the morning, then back in. Out in the afternoon, and hopefully some kid play time with the grand kids. And finally, fed and in and out again at night.
I also feel guilty doing this to our dogs. It would be ideal if we had a pet sitter, but that is not in this tight budget.
And, of course I won't be able to see Mom, so even more responsibility falls on my sis, who truly already has earned the angel of all angel's on earth award! She is amazing, and I feel bad I cannot help her more.
So.. I will do my best to put everything in perspective..and try to think and work smart. One thing I know, it always turns out OK in the end.
I have a little calligraphy sign that I have had for years that says:
"What doesn't kill me will make me strong"
So.. to look at it another way....
I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength!
Phil 4:13
OK, I can do this!
Happy new week to all!
