It was very strange this morning, I woke up at 5:22 AM, and sat up looking at the clock "I 'm going to be late for work! Wait, what day is this? Saturday, don't I work Saturday? No, I don't.. oh good, go back to sleep.."
I have been working a lot of overtime lately, and the days can blend together. Don't you hate that? I hate when the days blur together, and you are in that rut, you know what I mean, I know you do...
It just seems sad, when you get this far through life, and you are always looking ahead to something far off, and not looking at the one day that you have .. today. I look back and think, how much time have I wasted on the wrong stuff, and the wrong priorities. When will I learn to "stop and smell the flowers" as they say.
I have grown kids, who are smart and talented and are also good parents with good kids, and good husbands...how fortunate is that! I want them to know how much they mean to me, and I don't know that they will ever know how much. We are so different, sometimes I think they can't "read" me like I wish they could.
Despite my parenting challenges, they still overcame in their own lives. I was raised a certain way, and may have mimicked some parenting habits from my early viewpoint of a parents roll.
I thought I was being better than my parents at some things, and in hindsight look back with total shame. I could of done so much more, "We" could of done so much more.
See, now I need to stay focused, right? I have today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not a guarantee.
Jan, stay focused, trust God, he gave you today, and enough strength for today.. don't worry about the "what' if's???" ..this call's for faith!!!
This all started with the emphasis on one thing.. today..what if it was the last today.. do I really want the last today to be the same blur as the ones before it? Hmmm.
OK, I am done ramblin' on..Good Night...